relationships.

to anyone who cares to listen, here is my thoughts on what a "relationship", as in boyfriend and girlfriend, should be:

some of you may think i have no room to talk, or some of you may agree with me. but, from my experience and watching and learning from those around me, i have learn't some things.

i believe that a relationship is something not to be taken for granted or that it shouldn't be one-sided. one of the biggest things that cause problems in relationships is jealousy. personally, i think each person in the relationship should TOTALLY be able to have friends of the opposite sex. it helps with advice, and there is NOTHING wrong with friendships. from someone such as myself, who has way more dood friends than chick friends, i would HATE to lose them. BUT, along with that, i believe there should be some respect following that, and i don't mean "rules", i meant what i said, respect. i don't believe you should be one on one with someone of the opposite sex, unless you and your bf/gf have come to terms on how good of friends you and that one person are, and how long ya'll have been friends. there are ways to treat a friend of the opposite sex and there are ways NOT to. i mean, it should be CLEAR who your bf/gf is and who you friend of the opposite sex is; there shouldn't be any question on which is which.

CHEATING: don't EVEN get me started because i could go on for days about how wrong it is. just let me leave it at this: if you're not happy with the person you are with, don't cheat on them, just leave them (in dating, if married, that's another story.) and if something would cause you to cheat, even if you 'didin't mean to', then stay away from whatever would cause you to cheat. cheating is STUPID.

know your boundaries. enough said.

don't spend every second of every day with your significant other. you all need some space, some friend time. don't drop everyone out of your life for one person.

my biggest advice? keep God first in a relationship. if you have that, then EVERYTHING else will fall into place perfectly.



just something i was thinking about.

build higher walls.

So I'll build my walls higher this time,
Thanks to you, baby.
If I'm not worth the fight,
Then let the war be settled.
Because I have no fight left in me.
My walls came crashing down,
When you sounded the battle cry.
But no worries.
I'll build my walls higher this time.
But no worries.
These walls are no match for my prince,
Who shall set my heart free.

better late than never..

i haven't (do i use 'wrote' or written'??) here in a long time.

life is very busy; why, with school and work, i hardly have time to even txt my friends that i normally txt on a regular basis. people are starting to think i 'fell of the face of the earth'. but i haven't, i'm just keeping busy. i am working on a place to find to volunteer, reading a lot more (right now, a book on human trafficking in america. it is more serious than it gets credit..), and i'm making more time for family. unlike most people my age, i find myself with family when i have free time. don't misunderstand, i hang out with my friends and have time with them, but i'm having more time with my family. i love it.

i am trying to get school over with so i can go where God wants me next.. i find school such a bore for me, considering i am a 'hands on' learner. sitting in a class room is not doing much for me. that is why i am planning on doing an internship with 1 of 2 companies after college, before i go on to my next *schooling. i can't wait. :)

life is throwing some challenges with health and all right now, and people thinking i forget them, but i am just trying to stay focused on my goals and living a life that is pleasing and honoring to God. i want that when people think of me, they think "that girl lives a life with a passion for Christ, and helping/serving others, and i want to live a life like that." <---- my goal for people to think of me.

i am so thankful to God for the gift of life, and know Him. <3

i just find myself so much happier the past few months, serving other people for Christ, because i have know for years, i have a passion for people that drives my very being.

love

i find myself lonely a lot lately.
don't get me wrong, i have friends. i have family. i love them all.
i'm talking that kinda lonely in that you want companionship.

i don't have that someone to cuddle with. i don't have that someone to hold me. i don't have that someone to give sweet kisses to. i don't have that someone to love me for myself and my imperfections. (friends&family don't count.) i don't have that someone to run and cry to for help when the world is sitting on my shoulders. i don't have someone to hold hands with. i don't have someone to sit out on the porch with and star gaze with me.

and i know what you're thinking: desperate.

i wouldn't say that. i'd say i'm experiencing a feeling God created me to feel; the longing for companionship.

i'm also scared as anything to get so close to someone again, because i had my heart broken. i feel like i push myself away from a dood if he tries to have a relationship with me. why do i do this? i have come down to two reasons of why i do this:

1. i don't want to get my heart broken.
2. i just haven't found the guy that i want to (and that God has sent) have a relationship with yet.

i haven't decided which one it is yet? maybe both? i know that when i find the right dood, i will let my guard down and want to get closer to him. :) i won't be afraid of heart break.

i know that God loves me and that His love is enough. but God also created me to want to be loved and cared for by a male in a relationship. so me feeling this way isn't wrong.

i just have learn't that i have to trust God in this. He is teaching me patience.

i only ask for two things from a dood:

1. love God before me.
2. be honest and faithful to me and love me for me.

i don't find that too much to ask to be honest. i think it is quite simple. do you think i'm asking too much??

well, i am going to pray that God send me the write man, and that He does it in His time. i am learning patience. it's hard, because i am tired of being lonely. but, God has a perfect plan. i do know that.

oh, love.

that is all. just what's on my brain.

<3

'your actions write the melody.'

life is just going really good for me.

i mean, yes, i am a little confused on where God wants me, what i am doing, and other things that just.. well, confuse me. but i am enjoying myself for the first time in while. i let myself get so down.. and finally, when i relyed more on my God, things turned around. (of course.) He will show me the way, no doubt.

this coming spring has a lot in store for me, to spread the Word in other parts of the world. :) i am so excited!

i feel lately, just.. i am content, yet i'm not, with life. content in that, my God is so working in my life and in my heart and loves me no matter how many times i have failed Him, my family being so supportive and loving, and i'm just enjoying the small things in life. :) but i'm not content in where i'm going (where does God want to use me?), how else can i help? am i showing the love of Christ to everyone i meet? how can i be more Christ like? why is the school system being so difficult? why can't i find a job? why do i let the good things slip out of my life and why do i hold back until it's too late? <---- these things puzzle me. and i do trust God, but i guess my impatience is being tested.

also something in my life.. i just (as i have written about before) have a passion for people that drives my very being. it eats at me. i get teary eyed just thinking about it. i want to help, but sometimes i feel trapped in: how can i help? i am working on that.. i want to do more, i reeeeally do. people NEED to see the love of Christ in me. all the time, every waking second.

prayers would be appreciated for guidance in my life. :) i know God is doing great things, and i need to learn to be patient with His timing.

His love is NEVER failing.

life update..

oh life, just when all seems to have hit rock botttom, God shows me he has other plans and that i should have just trusted him sooner (as He always does.). :)

life has been going really good. :)

friends are keeping me quite busy.. with playing left 4 dead and having zombie days. :) hahaha.

i start school in september, thank God. and i am applying for jobs EVERYWHERES. haha. :)

my family is doing good. everyone is keeping really busy with their time, but we all make time for each other. :) my family means the world to me, and i am BEYOND blessed to have a family such as the one i have. :)

i am now teaching sunday school for 9th grade girls, and wednesday nights i will be leading the 7th grade girls. :)

my schedule is quite full, but i like it that way.

working on many 'trips' in the near future. :) so excited, i really can't wait to see what God has in store for my life. i am enjoying this ride!

just a little catch up on what's going on here.

when everthing starts falling into place..

life, you amaze me..

i am currently working on a project that will help raise money to stop human trafficking and help feed the hungry. it's going to take a lot of time, but in the end, i think it's gonna be worth it. it's all in God's hands. after listeing to one of Anberlin's new singles, 'we owe this to ourselves', i was challenged to make a difference, so that's what i am going to strive for. it's time to make a difference in Christ's name.

i have learn't that i can't take control of everything. i am NOT in control. no matter how hard i try to be, want to be, or think i am; i have zero control. and i want God to have full control of my life, because i have found that when i try to direct my life, it does not go according to plan.

i have finally gotten a group of friends that i enjoy being around. :) we all have fun, laugh, and raid waffle house about three or so times a week. :) it's great. hahahaha. not to mention i have made other friends that really just are fun to be with, and we all get good laughs, have hair dying parties, and just enjoy each other's company. :) it's so fun.

that's all i got for now. just a little sharing. :)

toodles. :)